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(Andrékó Vivien)

Tegnap este kis húgommal aludtam.
Egyszer csak megkopogtatta a vállam:
- Tesó! Nem tudok aludni!
- De... Aludj!
- Ajhh... Nem tudok.
Átöleltem és megkérdeztem:
- Mert mi a baj Kicsi?
- Szerelmes vagyok; tudod? - mondta a 6 éves húgom.
Tudod, a Boti az óvodában mindig csak velem van, mindig engem ölel át, engem puszil meg, és ha csak ülünk egymás mellett és rám sem néz, akkor is tudom, hogy engem szeret! Jó érzés ez!
- Hát nem tudom Kicsi... Minden jónak vége van egyszer! - mondtam én.
- De ennek nem lehet vége! Szeretem.
- De igen...Vége lehet. És vége is lesz!
- Miért vagy ilyen velem?- kérdezte könnyes szemmel.
Átöleltem:
- Bocsánat, nem akartam.
Rám nézett nagy kék szemeivel, majd kérdezett:
- Vivi, te voltál már szerelmes?
- Igen voltam - válaszoltam...
- És ugye milyen jó volt?- mosolyodott el.
- Nem... Egyáltalán nem volt jó.
-Tudod, az Én szerelmem is mindig csak velem volt.... mindig csak engem ölelt át, engem puszilt meg. És ha csak egymás mellett sétáltunk, akkor is éreztem, hogy engem szeret. Jó érzés volt - mosolyodtam el.
- De Vivi, akkor miért könnyes a szemed?
- Megváltozott minden... Most másba szerelmes, soha többet nem lesz velem újra. Soha nem ölel át újra, soha nem kapok tőle több puszit!
És az a legrosszabb az egészben, hogy mikor elmegy mellettem, rám néz, én úgy érzem, mintha sosem szeretett volna!
- Lehet, hogy mégsem jó dolog ez Tesó? Nem akarok szomorú lenni, mint te, nem
akarom szeretni Botit! - letörölte a könnyem, és átölelt.

Olyan ember vagyok, aki sosem tudna elhagyni senkit,
sosem tudna elszakadni senkitől,
nem tudna elmenni mindent hátrahagyva!
Olyan ember vagyok, akit mindenki elhagy,
mindenki eltaszít magától,
akivel senki sem törődik.
Olyan ember vagyok. . .aki, senkinek sem fontos!

Azt hiszed úgy döntöttem,hogy vége.
Azt hiszed nem szeretlek.
Azt hiszed már nem érdekelsz,hogy már nem kellesz!
Pedig nem így van,viszont igazság szerint így kellene lennie.
Majd talán rájössz,hogy nem bántani akartalak,csupán az eszemre hallgattam.
Választottál.Okkal vagy ok nélkül!
. . .választottál. . .
. . .hibáztál. . .
. . .megbocsájtottam. . .
. . .és még mindig odavagyok érted!

Hibázol..folyamatosan csak hibázol.
Olyan emberekre emeled fel a hangod,akik szívüket lelküket adják azért,hogy te boldog légy. . .igazán boldog.
Én őszinte mosolyt várok,azokat a mosolyokat amikbe beleszerettem,és ma is minden egyes pillanatba újra és újra bele akarok szeretni!
Tudod, az a mosoly felér bármivel!
Hiányzik...
Hiányzol...
Bár minden nap látlak,de mégis hiányzol,hiányzik valami belőled...a régi Énedből.
Újra vissza akarom kapni,érted?
Nem  hagyom,hogy elvessz, nem hagyom hogy elveszítsem azt a szeretni való  őszinte értékes embert, akit benned ismertem meg.

Mindig azon gondolkoztam,
hogy fogsz eltűnni az életemből?
Vajon halkan elköszönsz és csendben kisétálsz,
néha még hátra-hátra tekintessz,
és eszedbe jutnak boldog pillanataink..
Vagy dühtől felpörögve rohansz majd ki
közös életünk piciny ajtaján?
De tudod az is megfordult a fejemben,
hogy mi van, ha sosem tűnsz el,
ha nekünk többé már nem kell elválnunk?

Hideg van.
Egy padon ülök a hatalmas nyárfák alatt.
Ez egy különös éjszaka. . .
pont egy éve történt, hogy elsétált örökre!

 

Köszönöm szépen az együtt működését!

 

Hozzászólások

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